Date: Fri, 13 Aug 1999 09:15:45 -0000
From: Joanna Richards
To: Katie
Cc:
Subject: Re: How are you?
Thanks for writing - it was appreciated - and I'm sorry I hadn't got back to you before, but as you can no doubt imagine, e-mail is not at the top of my priorities right now.

As you say this is not the happiest time of my life, but I'm keeping busy organising the others, and am trying not to think about it. I'm trying, but not entirely succeeding...

Funnily enough it's Roger I keep thinking about... do you think people know - I mean can they? About accidents, I mean? Maybe something communicates itself - it's only a short amount of time and such a great change... it's just that just before it happened we were all standing around talking about Henry and his bonfire or something and Roger said something really wierd, something about innocent blood on the land or something, something that didn't sound like him at all, like he was quoting, or portentous and significant... I suppose he was just coked up, or something, since he then went charging off, and it all happened... but it was odd - like for a moment he knew something was going to happen.

Sorry, I'm rambling - but he keeps cropping up. The others do, too, of course, Ray most of all, and poor little Eleanor, but, oddly, Roger's the one whose absence I feel most. Yes, I know, its because he used to do everything for me - I can hear you saying it - well, perhaps that's true, but I think I just miss him.

I can know hear you saying 'hypocrite' - well, yes, perhaps that's it. After anyone goes your memory gets selective - even if they're just away for a while, rather than dead. And I don't mean you just remember the good things - I mean the bad things become incredibly poignant. I really miss Roger being irritating.

Well: whatever. I've romised myself I'm not going to think about it just yet.

And yes: Tom and Mary are being useless - just sitting around and smoking cigarettes and brooding. Both of them. It's like having a pair of asthmatic ravens perched in the living room. See? I can still laugh. Have not gone mad yet. Am saving that for when I can get back home and have people I can trust about me.

So see you soon.

Joanna